Authenticity

So often in this modern world we see an image of perfection.  Perfect looking homes, advertising for products to achieve perfect hair, perfect skin, perfect food, perfect lives.

We are bombarded with advertising about things to give us a nicer home, a better car.  We see things to make us more attractive, that will make us happier, to make us better.

When we purchase these dreams dangled in front of us, sure we feel better for a while.  But it's a hollow kind of happiness.  Soon we realize we are no happier then we were before.  The shiny-newness of the car fades.  The excitement of the dream home wears off, and we are left to face the truth of who we are once again.  The fact remains that we are the sum of what is inside of us, not of that which we are able to display on the outside.

There comes a certain point after obtaining the essentials of life like a safe place to live, warmth, proper clothing and adequate food at which we reach a kind of stand still.

The extent of these basics is not as high as modern day media would have us believe.  Beyond a certain point the real truth resides;  If we are not happy without it, then we will never be happy with it.


A couple of photos of a lovely little trip we had to a cheap little holiday house near the beach.  I cant even remember where it was now but I do remember it was freezing!  

No amount of lovely belongings can nor ever will change who we are at the centre of our being.  That if we cannot have a sense of like or acceptance for the person deep inside us, then there is nothing we can buy which will change that.  It simply aids as a distraction for a little while.

You know one of my very favourite things to do?  To have a cuppa with a person who is not scared to show their true colours, to share who they are at their heart of hearts.  To sit down and discuss all that is real, and challenging.  To have the kind of conversations that are rich, and deep, and most importantly real.  An honest account of they are and where they are going, bumpy roads and all.  I love these kinds of conversations.  To get past the everyday polite chit chat and get to the stuff that matters, the very marrow of life.  To encourage each other through fears and uncertainties, to laugh at our imperfections.  To respectfully share thoughts and ideas even when they differ from one another.  To learn and to live.  To be in authentic relationships.

The things we see on the media which tells us how to have a happier life....they are not real.  After a certain point the things we see and desire simply become fluff.  Sure, sometimes fluff is nice to soften the harsh edges we run up against in life, but in the end the fact remains it is still just fluff and can only go so far.  The things that truly help make life brighter are in the relationships we have around us.  When we have the opportunity to be who we are on the inside with others, to share, to laugh....perhaps even sometimes, to cry.

This past week or so I have had a couple of such experiences, which have truly helped to fill my tank.  Once was when I went to a friend/work colleges house for the first time.  I entered her cottage and it was completely un-pretentious.  There was nothing fancy about her home on the surface.  It was a completely ordinary, neat family home.  But within the home held such familiarity and beauty.  There were papers overflowing on the desk, books strewn over the kitchen table, memories and reminders adorning the walls.  Their house told their families story and despite it being my first time there, it was somehow exactly what I had imagined her home to be.  Warm, authentic, beautiful and comforting. 

This morning I had another such soul filling encounter.  A dear friend popped over for coffee, which progressed somehow into a 4 1/2hr catch-up.  We drank hot coffee from oversized mugs, I pottered and made a batch of pumpkin soup.  Coffee turned into lunch, which meandered into coffee again.  Me wearing my husbands trackies, her off the farm.  The floors not swept, beds not made, crazy little Scottish Terrier getting up to trouble, washing machine whirring in the background.

Yes, my house may not be shiny, my garden may contain far too many weeds, my roses need pruning, my car is a little beat up, my curves a little too curvy.  But I feel so very blessed to have such wealth in authentic deep relationships with beautiful family and friends.  These things - these people are the real treasures in life, and I reckon I must be one of the richest people around.

Much love,
Emma
xx 

39 comments

  1. I'm sitting here saying 'yes, yes, yes.'
    You express yourself so well Emma.
    So many things here resonate with me too. I had a girlfriend over for a catch-up yesterday and we sat in the lounge room chatting with the teapot and a homemade slice. I felt great for the rest of the day.
    Kylie

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    1. Its just the best isn't it? :)

      Hope you have a lovely weekend!

      xx

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  2. Absolutely loved this post! I love to be perfectly imperfect :-)

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    1. Thankyou! At least y guest today didn't get served banana bread with the burnt bits cut off from talking too much and forgetting it was in the oven. ;) Bahahaha!

      xx

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    2. Hahaha, it still tasted good :-)

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  3. I think you've written about real friendship, Emma. Being completely yourself and knowing the other person accepts you that way! On Monday morning, I will pick up a very close friend from the airport, I haven't seen her for a few years, but she knows me and I know her and the years in between do not matter. Meg:) p.s. Congratulations on 200 posts ... I hope you'll write another 200 because I love reading here!

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    1. They are the best friendships - rare gems! I hope you have a wonderful time togeather.

      Xx

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    2. Oh and Thankyou, I hope to keep blogging for a long while yet! For as long as the words flow, I'll be happy to blog.

      Xx

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  4. Well said. And not only do these things not add to our happiness, they add (most of the time) to growing debt which leads to stress. My car is far from new, my house is far from perfect and is furnished in op shop finds, but everything is ours. We afford it and don't have to stress about "paying for things to impress people we don't like". Von xx

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    1. You sound very happy with your choices! And it is naturally a greener way to live by consuming less. Win-win!

      Xx

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  5. Sitting here nodding at your comments while I fold the laundry. Lol, is wearing hubby's trackies a common thing as I thought I was unique with this. Seems "everyone" steals their partner's t-shirts, sweatshirts etc but not their trackies.

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    1. His trackies never used to fit until recently..... -_- gah!

      Xx

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  6. Emma, I am so glad I caught up with this post. I have been having internet problems lately with data useage blowouts - not caused by me - Telstra advised me the data useage blowout was due to a 'network misalignment'. Telstra has tried to reassure me that I won't be charged for this data that I did not use, but I don't feel reassured as yet.

    Anyway back to your post. This week I have been reading Thomas Moore's "A Life at Work" and your post resonates within me the way the message from his book does. He writes that a quest for life work entails creating a soulful type of living. "That means living from a deep place and taking the time to tend your family, your home and your friendships."

    I too love deep and meaningful conversations and my closest and deepest friendships have always been with people who enjoy such discussions. I don't even need to be an active participant, if there are several people present during such a discussion I am happy to listen and gain new insights.

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    1. Oh I will have to check out that book, it sounds interesting!

      Being term time my library bay is overstuffed with theology books. Sometimes it's nice to read something before bed, that's completely unrelated.

      I'm with you on the watching people. I have an assignment at college to go to a coffee shop, and various other places and document cultural norms/patterns. I reckon that sounds pretty fun and I look forward to staking out a cozy corner and settling in for a while!

      I hope you get the Internet fixed soon, how frustrating!

      Xx

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  7. We don't normally watch commercial tv, but have done so the past 3 weeks, to follow the Ninja Warrior series. It's finished now, but the ads! Oh my. In my early forties, I've seen a lot of snake oil being sold, in a range of different coloured bottles, with new magical potions, being promised the buyer. So watching ads now, can be a little amusing, because they try so hard to be original. But the bottom line is, water is still better than snake oil. ;)

    I enjoyed reading about your social connections. Food, conversation and busy hands. Speaking of coffee though, I haven't had my bedtime decaf yet. Time to put the kettle on.

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    1. Adds, gah! So frustrating! And so in your face.

      Xx

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  8. Your blog is a delight to read and your photos reinforce your words, Em. I love how you write about how life isn't perfect and that change is part of every life. Congratulations on your 200th post. I'm looking forward to the next 2000. xx

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    1. Thankyou so much Rhonda! And thankful for your wonderful guidance and advice in my blogging journey. It is very much appreciated and I hope to still be here blogging about all kinds of things in another 200 posts.

      xx

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  9. Came here via Down to Earth blog...you write well and I hope to keep coming. I have a hard time reading the smaller print and the lighter print...but I will try. Wishing you the best in the things you and yours hope to do. I too appreciate REAL people!!
    Elizabeth in Wa state, USA

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    1. Thankyou so much for popping by! And thankyou for the feedback, I can easily increase my font size, interestingly enough I made the font a very dark grey/just off black as I was struggling to read with the true black. My eyes were finding the contrast/font/size combination difficult, but once I changed the tone of the writing just a touch it helped me immensely. It's interesting how our eyes are all different isn't it?

      xx

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  10. Hi . I've just found you on Rhonda's blog. Loving it. Can't wait to go back and read all the other posts 😀 countrymouse🐁

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    1. Thankyou country mouse! Your welcome to stay as long as you please, its a pleasure to have you here. Pull up a chair and grab a cuppa. ;)

      xx

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  11. What enriching life lessons for your little ones to be picking up on. In a world that bombards them with advertising this approach is the perfect antidote.

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    1. They are such lovely boys. Some times they drive me completely mental, but all in all they are great kids. Though I may be bias, I admit. ;)

      xx

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  12. Interesting topic...I'm just reading Wabi-Sabi Welcome by Julie Pointer Adams. It fits perfectly what you're describing here! As the sub-title says: "Learning to embrace the imperfect and entertain with thoughtfulness and ease". Isn't THAT all we really want? (And personally, I'd even do away with the word "entertain".)

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    1. Oh, that sounds interesting. I agree with the word "entertain" perhaps if we changed "entertained" in our vocabulary to "welcome" there would be a complete shift in mindset and expectations upon oneself? I think usually the expectations are internally driven, most people I have met are relieved to come to a "homely" house! Myself included.

      xx

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    1. Thanks Vicki! Its been a while since I have seen you around! How are you?

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  14. I looked at the house story and fell in love! Did you buy the house? I live in New Mexico in the states, what is a block? I would love to visit with you. Thank you, Elaine

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    1. Thanks, it has been hard work that's for sure! But it has come along way. Next week we will be ordering materials to start the next stage of the back half for the house. An indoor bathroom! It's the small things. ;)

      A block is the piece of land you own which the house sits on, so our little cottage sits on about 1300sm, or close to half an acre. We refer the it as the "block of land". What do you call the land which the house sits on that you own?

      xx

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  15. Popping over by way of Rhonda's link and so happy to find a like minded blog! I'll be back!

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    1. Thankyou! A pleasure to meet you, thanks for popping in! :)

      xx

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  16. Another blog friend of Rhonda's saying hello.
    Your blog is great, I have enjoyed catching up and will be following you for sure.
    All the very best.

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    1. Thankyou so much! I look forward to sharing stories and hopefully hearing a little of yours too. :)

      xx

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  17. Congratulations on 200 blog posts dear Emma. Always a delight to read. XX

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    1. Thankyou Sally - How are those lambs faring in this cold, wet weather? How are you faring with those feeds? I hope you are staying warm and dry. I can just imagine sitting in your kitchen next to your wood oven on this stormy night.

      xx

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  18. Hi Emma, I have just found your blog from Rhonda's links. It is great and I really like the topics you write about- keeping it real!! I'll be sure to come back and read some more.

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    1. Lovely to meet you too Belinda - I think there is far too much picture perfect content out there! It places unrealistic expectations on people I think, and so many of us already expect so much more from ourselves then we should. So I am nothing fancy, but what you see is what you get. :) Thanks for popping by!

      xx

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  19. Hi Emma! We live on @10 acres, @ 435,600 sq feet, or 40468,5642 sq meters. We live in the desert so its mostly sand, mesquite bushes, lots of birds and squirrels. We are in mid summer and monsoon season, but it does have a lot drier weather than most places we have lived. We bought our 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom home last fall. We love the desert. Thanks for asking, Elaine

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Thankyou so much for visiting me here in my little corner of the big wide web. I really appreciate your comments, and love to read each and every one of them. I will always endevour to reply, but occasionally I run out of time. But please know they mean alot to me! If something resonates with you feel free to "Like" and "share", its nice to know I'm not talking to myself. Ha!

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